Welcome

Welcome fellow wives,
I am so happy you have chosen to join me in my quest to make other women as perfect as we are when it comes to matters concerning our husbands. Before we go any further, I'd like everyone to take a moment to appreciate their husbands for allowing us use the computer. If you are anything like me, you'll be on your hands and knees worshipping at his feet. It's a generous thing they have done giving us permission to do this, when we could be washing and pressing their clothes, cooking their food, clipping their nails and all the other delightful things they allow us do for them.

The purpose of this website is to achieve highest level of perfection as women and as mothers and it is our prayer that our husband's strength get us there.

Thank you and welcome again.
A Good Naija Wife

10 Characteristics of a Good Naija Wife

1) She Never Needs Helps. . . especially from her husband.



2) She Puts her husband first. . . no matter what!


3) She is in tune to her husband's needs



4) She makes excuses for him, no matter how bad he is.


5) She never has time for herself



6) She takes Abuse with a smile on her face. . . behind the bandages


7) She drops everything to see to her husband'a sexual needs


8) She believes wonder working power of prayer



9) She submits mind, body and soul to her husband



10) She accepts she is in it alone



FINALLY TO TRULY ACHIEVED SAINTHOOD AS A NAIJA WIFE, YOU MUST BE WILLING TO DIE FOR YOUR MARRIAGE (PREFERABLY AT THE HANDS OF YOUR HUSBAND)


Peace, quiet and sainthood...what more can any woman ask for?

If you don't have at least seven characteristics listed above then you are not fit to call yourself a Wife and you better repent before it's too late for you.

What Shall it Profit a Naija woman to Gain Everything but not a MRS Title.

Last week a woman came to me lamenting about how overworked she is. Apparently, she is one of the lucky few whose husbands allow to hold a job in addition to her usual wife and mother duties and instead of appreciaitng his magnanimous gesture, this ungrateful wench was going on and on about how he does not help with the dishes, get their kid ready for school or clean the house. She told me how she got mad him for insulting her because she ordered taking out instead of cooking.

Oh my fellow ZW, I would have given her a dirty slap but I didn’t want to cheat on my husband because slapping me is part of our foreplay. I just can’t imagine doing it with someone another guy, not to talk of a woman, soI kept my cool and wrote her off. That is not one person I want to be friends it.

Don’t these women get it? We are married…to Nigerian MEN, that is the ultimate prize any woman can get in her life time. Being a MRS is what we have been preparing for from the moment we were born, why would anyone want to abuse that privilege?

Like I said earlier, I wrote her off completely but not before telling her a few home truth. Below is what I said. . .

The best Nigerian wives are full time wives and mother. . . don't you get it. Quit your job and stay at home to take care of your man, you are even lucky he allows you to orders takeout and only insults you after the fact, some men won't even let it go that far.

A homecooked meal, pampering of your husband, putting his needs first, never questioning him, going to any length to make sure he never suffers a moment of discomfort will ensure you that you continue to have the best 3 letters in the world before your name, the 3 letters that command respect wherever you go. . . I am talking about MRS.


You'd better recognize that fast and recognize it soon because there are many women out there who are now living in regret, biting their fingers and saying "Had I known". If you are interested, I'll send you a book to help you. I've read this book like a thousand times and it has helped me a lot. It's called. . .


101 Ways not MISS out on MRS: What Shall it profit a woman to gain everything but not MRS.

Well that's it. . . even if she doesn't listen, I can go to my grave knowing I did right by her.

Perserverance Endurance and Tolerance,

These three words are what every good Naija Wife must live by.

Yes, the measure of a woman is in her ability to bear prolonged hardship, her determined continuation with suffering and her capacity to wait for the situation to change.

In other parts of the world, this describes A FOOL, A MUGU, AN ODE, A MORON, A BRAINLESS TWIT but we know better, we know that underneath it all, we are being good wives.

I stand proud and I stand tall

Yippie ki-yay!!
Huzzah!!!

I am a Nigerian woman, hear me rooooooaaar!!

Consideration, Liberation and Discontent

Hello my fellow sisters in marriage,
My husband has been so wonderful this past few days, it’s unbelievable. The other day, he came home and say how clean the house was, how pressed his clothes were and how polished his shoes looked. He looked at me, smiled very indulgently and told me so sweetly that I was becoming efficient. . . too efficient, he fears the corporate world will come knocking. I laughed him off. . . I mean I know he is only trying to boast my ego (Goodness, I am so blessed to have him in my life).

Anyway, this whole corporate world to me thinking. . . How is it like for women in that world. . . A man’s world. I imagined it would be hard because these women libber always talk about how things aren’t easy for them. Ever since the Psychology and Psychiatrist issues, I have decided never to take their word for it anymore and so with my husband’s permission, I decided to look into and my the things I found out. . . Oh my heavens, my fellow sisters in marriage, they were spectacular. Men are so generous! They have special rules and regulations to accommodate us and I am going to share these rules with you, so you see how wrong these women libbers are.

How to Pick Efficient Female Workers
1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they're less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It's always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3. General experience indicates that "husky" girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination - one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

5. Stress at the outset the importance of time; the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.

6. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they'll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can't shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl's husband or father may swear vociferously, she'll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

11. Get enough size variety in operator's uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can't be stressed too much in keeping women happy

Oh my fellow sisters in Marriage, How happy I was too read this because it is exactly the same consideration my husband gives me a home...especially number six. Which brings me to the main point of today's post...why do you need to go work when you can get the same experiences AND better considerations at home? Why argue with your husband when he tells you to quit you job and have housewifery career?

Think about it Fellow Wives before you make the decision to leave the comfort of your home, to go do the same thing somewhere less comfortable, A place where your husband isn’t going to be there to pat you on the head.

May our husband be bestowed enough patience to be considerate of us despite our ungratefulness.

A Good Naija Wife.

Mind Games

Hello Sisters in Marriage,
I am so sorry I have been MIA. I’ve just been a little out of sorts lately. It is because being THE GOOD NAIJA WIFE, I have been shouldering everybody else’s issues . . . like my husband says, it’s why we were born with broader shoulders.

So what has me down on the dumps? Well I just found out through the grapevine that the Foreign Wife of our Naija Brother has left him for good. Even though we didn’t part ways on the best of terms, I was still keeping my fingers crossed for her. I heard she went to see a psychologist like Dr. Phil. . . you know him right, the headshrinker who makes people. . . women believe in all sorts of trash. I’m sorry to say this but I think psychologists are the agents of the devil. They twists people’s minds, make them so warped they can’t think straight. I’ve seen there handiwork up close and personal and it isn’t a pretty sight.

One time A GOOD NAIJA WIFE I know was talked into going to see one by one of the women libbers who think asking your husband money to buy Sanitary Pad is bad, they claim it is the height of dependency. What nonsense, right? I know. . . I mean how else will husbands know when Rogue Housewives are using their periods as an excuse not to perform their wifely duties? Sometimes these women libbers scare me with the way they think. Anyway, the GOOD NAIJA WIFE was talked into see a psychologist and that charlatan ruined her life. After just two visits, he had her spouting crap. . . oops, pardon my English, what I mean to say was he had her reciting silly things like

“"Believe in yourself! You are NOT a worthless human being and nobody has the right to treat you as one! You are Beautiful in you own right and you do not need a man to validate you”

I was so shocked! Worthless? What did he mean worthless? I asked her if her husband told her she was worthless and she said no, I asked her if he still allowed her to wash his socks, cook his meals, press his clothes and she said yes to all of that. So you see why I was confused? It doesn’t end there, no ladies. . . it doesn’t, pretty soon she was strutting around the house, channeling her inner Aretha Franklin, singing R.E.S.P.E.C.T and disobeying to her Naija husband. . . an absolute NO NO.

The day I knew all was lost was when I went to her house and saw this picture hanging on the kitchen wall



Oh my heavens! I almost passed out from shock. Not apply to her? If it doesn't. . . then who? I ended our friendship right then and there. I heard she now works in the new Accounting Firm her husband opened just recently. I thought it was nice of him to include her name on the business and they say they a dynamic duo in the Accounting Buisiness. . . mmm okay, I guess everyone is just pretending she is not working and not just working but doing it along side her NAIJA HUSBAND. Some other wives think she used voodoo. . . me, I won’t say it but what other explanation can there be?

Well I hope you can see why I am a little down, Psychologist and Psychiatrist are destroying our home and nobody is doing anything about it. So I am using this as a warning and a call to arms to all GOOD NAIJA WIVES, please stay away from Psychologist and be on the look out for women libbers who want to use them as a tool to bring our husbands down to our levels in the guise of equal footing.

May our husbands continue to win the battle over our minds.

Now if you will excuse me, I am going to try to get out of this funk by baking some pies for my husband.

A Good Naija Wife.

Voodoo Using Naija Wives Aren't Good Naija Wives

Hello Fellow Naija sisters in Marriage
I want to talk about Naija wives who give other Naija wives a bad name. Today, I had the most interesting conversation with a friend. She was telling me about other Naija wives who knew their place, who knew never to question their husbands on his whereabouts, who never complain when their he comes home really late and demands sex. I listened to her, my heart swelling with pride until she said something. . . one word that brought me crashing down. She said these women allowed their husbands go anywhere he pleased.

Allowed?

Allowed?

Let me repeat it, They allow their husbands to go anywhere in the world?

Really?

I mean. . . it sort of implies they had the choice of . . . not allowing them? And then it hit me! Oh My God! What kind of jazz, juju, voodoo have these evil wenches used on their husbands? I'd never allow myself to be allowed to allow my husband cme and go as he pleased? It's so un-Good Naija Wife like because it makes you look like a shrew. I am very happy with the way things work for us, thank you very much and i wouldn't change it for he world,

For instance, just this morning I woke up to find a note on my pillow with the words “Going away for the weekend, won’t be back until Tuesday” (The I was dotted with a heart. . . Isn’t that just the cutest?). Honestly, it’s times like these I am so happy my husband makes me have an overnight bag packed and ready to go, so I don’t have to scramble all over the place, trying to get his clothes, shoes and tooth brush fedexed to him. He is so considerate that way. . . And again, I am not bragging, just trying to show that a good Naija really can get her reward here on earth too and you don’t need no stinky jazz to do it.

Ladies, remember the husband is the head of his wife, therefore his world and ONLY his words matter. Please fellow Naija sisters in marriage, be ever vigillant of this ugly trend of having a say spreading around or you just might find yourself being branded a Voodoo Using Naija Wife.

May the heavens give us the strenght to keep our opinions to ourselves.

A Good Naija Wife.

The Problem With Mixed Marriages

I am very miffed today, I could scream but I won’t, I know how unladylike it is to do such a thing. Honestly ladies, if you are anything like me, I’m sure you understand why anger is not a good thing for a Good Naija wife. . . It sets the tone for the day and it might end up ruining our Husbands’ mood.

First of all, I want to make it very clear that I am not racist or anything but Naija men who marry foreigners make me so mad! These women don’t understand our ways and all they do is complain. I was at the grocery store getting steak for my husband’s dinner when this woman approached me, I guess she figured I was a Naija wife, since I had the tag with MRS (my husband's name) on my neck. Anyway, she wanted to know if I could tell her how to cook Efo riro, gbegiri and laafu for her Nigerian. . . Yoruba husband.

At first I wasn’t going to but then I thought of the poor Naija man who is probably reduced to eating toast, mashed potatoes and gravy morning afternoon and night. So I called my husband at work to seek his permission and of course he was absolutely receptive to the idea of teaching another woman the art of catering to her husband’s every need. Having gotten permission, we went to a coffee shop and started talking and she told me the real reason why she wanted to learn to cook for her husband’s native food.

Apparently, he had told her she wasn’t Nigerian enough for him. . . this after 6yrs of marriage and a son. He told her he was seeing another Nigerian woman (Whoopii! They always come back home) because she (the wife) worked too many long hours. . . she tried to excuse it by saying she had no choice coz she didn’t want the Landlord kicking them out for not paying rent but I immediately told her not to even go there. That was such a flimsy excuse, working long hours to keep the roof over your family’s head?

What crock!

Anyway, the new girl is an illegal in the country, she can’t work and most likely relies on the Naija man for money. . . obviously why he fell for her. Lastly, he told her (his foreign wife) he didn’t want to be seen with her outside their home i.e no going to church or party with him. . . can you blame him? She is not a Naija wife.

Upset and at a loss on what to, she sought advice from our fellow Naija sisters who immediately told her not to lose hope, despite the fact that he does not come home to sleep. The lovely, generous Naija sisters also told her to go learn how to cook his food coz you know the old saying. . . the way to a man’s heart his through his stomach.

So there you have it.

I won’t lie to you ladies. . . I was ready to get up and leave after she finished telling her story because I was so disgusted! This woman is such a deceiver! Can you imagine what length she must have gone to convince her poor husband she was Nigerian for 6 years! Six good years!! Thank God for the asylum seeking Naija girlfriend who opened his eyes and he finally realized the other woman wasn’t Nigerian enough for him. . . . but that’s six years down the drain!

Anyway, since I had already called my husband to seek his permission to help this one, I called him back to tell him how I couldn’t help this woman because of her deceiving ways. He calmed me down and told me to remember the Naija child in the middle of this mess, he reminded me that our goal was to take our families back from the axis of evil. Fight the terrorist outside the home. . . so we don’t have to fight them in our home.

So I stayed and decided to help this foreigner keep one of our brothers. First stop, was gaining his love back and it had nothing to do with cooking his favorite food. . . . at least not yet. We needed to bring him home first and the only way to do it is taking care of his Asylum seeking Naija Girlfriend.

I have to stop here for today but I will continue as soon as I get the chance to.

Love and Kisses for our Naija husbands.

A Good Naija Wife

Taking Care of Business. . . The Good Naija Wife Way

First I want to apologize that it took me forever to post an update. I had to transcribe the conversation I had with this woman from the tape recorder my husband makes me carry around so at the end of the day he can listen to my conversations and critique it. He is very generous that way, I honestly don’t know how he manages to find the time seeing as how he a busy man.
Anyway, this will posted in the exact manner as it was spoken.

Re: Asylum Seeking Girlfriend

His new woman is an asylum seeker? Ah, so you had this ace up your sleeve yet you carried on like you had no bargaining chip. Honestly, women surprise me sometimes. Forget cooking for him, learning his language or trying to become a Nigerian by force. . . it is time to think outside the box. You gotta set yourself apart from the rest, instead of trying to conform. . . show him how unique you are.

Do you have a guy friend or a brother who won't mind helping a foreigner get her papers via marriage? If you do, good. . . the sooner the better but if you don't, start looking, some of them will do it for money but I don't think this will be an issue for you seeing as you are working yourself to the bone. . . 80 to 90hrs, right? Perfect! I believe once you do this. . . helping your husband's girlfriend get her papers, he'll know for sure that you love him. . . just in case marrying him at 17, having his baby, working 1000hrs a week to put a roof over his head, clothes on his back, food in his bottomless pit of a stomach, isn't enough proof that you. Trust me, it would put you back in the race, even on the lead for his affection because the sad truth is not many Nigerian women will do that.

Please feel free to add you own valuable advice, remember it is our Naija Brother. . . a man like our Naija husbands who benefits.

I'll post more soon, now I have to get my husband's hot blanket ready.

Blessings upon our Husbands.

A Good Naija Wife

Taking Care of Business. . . The Good Naija Wife Way (pt 2)

Good Evening my fellow Naija sisters in marriage,
Continuing the advice column, our foreign naija sister in marriage told me to that some people adviced her to wait for her husband, that it was just a phase he will soon pass through and guess what she said? I’m still too shocked to even repeat it but I will try, she said she does not think so, that she can’t put her life on hold waiting for him to come back, besides he was already half living with the other girl. She told she was thinking about forgetting the whole pleasing him thing and just move with her life.

Oh my God! I almost passed out from shock, I knew something had to be done soon and done fast or out Naija brother will lose his wife. So this this what I told her


LET HIM KNOW YOU ARE WILLING TO WAIT OUT THIS PHASE!!

And I mean literally wait. . . drive him to his refugee girlfriend's camp

Then WAIT in the car for him to finish whatever.

He will be so happy, he's smile all the way back home. . . trust!

Whatever he asketh thou giveth. If he sayeth jump, thou asketh how high!!

As always, please feel free to add your own advice.

May we never be put in situation where we can't please our Husbands.

Thank you,

A Good Naija Wife.